Sometimes it can feel like your husband doesn't even care about what you want.
But — let's be real — your husband loves you. He doesn't want to make you feel that way. He wants to please you. He just needs a little help from you to make it happen.
Here are 11 tactics to get your husband to do anything you want him to:
I'm all about #girlpower but sometimes you're just a human and you can't do everything all the time. One of the best parts of marriage is having someone to rely on for support. So yeah, be a "damsel in distress", and let your prince ride in on his white stallion to help you out. This tactic works because men love playing Superman. So not only will you get the help you need, but your husband will feel pretty great being the hero.
Sure, you're no princess, but you are a high-value woman and you deserve to be treated like one. Don't be a snob or set standards that are too high, but expect the respect and love that you deserve and it will come.
Unless you're married to someone who sparkles in the sun and lives on a diet of blood (read: Edward Cullen) your husband isn't a mind reader. This means if you want your husband to do something, you can't just think it and hope that he knows what you need. Simply tell him what you want him to do.
It's okay to ask again. We all need reminding when we're making changes and doing something new. And I promise, asking again is not the same thing as nagging.; Just make sure you're understanding and avoid accusing him of not listening the first time you asked him for a favor.
The reason for your needs might seem obvious to you, but that doesn't mean it's apparent to everyone else. When he understands that you want him to wear a tie because you want your boss to know that you respect the time she's taking to have dinner with you, he'll be more inclined to acquiesce then if you just tell him to suit up.
Everyone tends get defensive when it feels like someone is attacking us. So if you want your husband to make a change, focus your request on yourself instead of what he is doing wrong. For example, instead of saying, "You never listen to me" say, "Sometimes I don't feel heard." Because he loves you, he will want to find a way to fix what's broken.
If you aren't clear about what you want from your husband, he may think that he's doing what you want him to even if he's not. Mitigate this situation by being specific about what you want. For instance, instead of just saying "I want to feel more loved" explain the things (like holding your hand when you're out and about, saying I love you every day) he can do to make you feel loved. The more specific you are, the more he's empowered to do what you ask.
There's no accounting for the effect some genuine "thank yous" can have. When we feel like what we do is appreciated, we get a natural high which encourages us to repeat the behavior. Always express appreciation to your husband.
As you're trying to help your husband learn to meet your needs, you also need to be respectful of his. Make sure you ask him at a time he can give his attention to you. Likewise, don't request things when you are in the middle of a fight or he's stressed out. Setting makes all the difference.
Just try it ;)
Relationships are all about give and take. First of all, make sure you understand what he wants from you (go ahead and ask him). As you do what you can to meet his needs, he will naturally want to do the best he can to meet yours.