When a child is angry, things parents say can actually increase or prolong their irritation instead of soothing it. Instead of using frustrated and angry words, here's what to say:
Try this instead of, "stop complaining!"
This is much more effective than "Can't you see everyone watching? This is embarrassing."
Instead of saying phrases that increase your anger towards your child like "I'm tired of you acting this way" always tell them you love them. It's a good way to remind them (and yourself) how special they are.
Instead of yelling at him and implying that he has no right to be angry, try explaining the emotions he is feeling — we all have them. Children just need to learn how to control these feelings. If you only yell at him to go to his room, he'll never learn how to calm down and think things through rationally.
When he's frustrated about not being able to complete a task, calm him down by lovingly helping him. Use a teaching moment to distract him from his anger.
6. "How about something to eat or lying down for a bit? You may be annoyed because you are hungry or sleepy."
Instead getting irritated when he is bored or annoyed, give him a chance to change his attitude and find a solution to his anger.
If he locks himself away in his room, try telling him you're ready and willing to talk about things when he is.
Don't belittle his feelings, even if the reason he's upset is irrational. Empathize with what he is going through.
If your son is upset after a big game or a disappointing test result, choose your words carefully. Tell him how proud you are for trying in the first place. Encourage him to try again and make sure he knows you love him.
Positivity is key when your son is feeling upset.
Encourage him to keep going. Your son needs your love and support.
If your son is feeling frustrated, help him out by suggesting other options.
Express how much you care to help him work through his frustration.
14. "Let me explain again. Could you repeat what I said? I want to see if you understand."
It's easy to lash out and say, "How many times do I have to repeat this? Why is it so difficult to understand?" But when you take the time to explain and make sure your child understands, you'll grow closer together.
A kind and gentle touch will teach him so much more than a harsh spanking ever will.
Running headlong into an argument with your son is like having a snowball fight with rocks – everyone ends up getting hurt.
If you are constantly angry with your child or vice versa, consider seeking professional help from a therapist. One mother shared on her blog how she tried everything to reduce her son's fits of rage until she discovered that the root of the problem was much deeper than she had imagined. It was something that could have only been identified with the help of a trained professional. If you are concerned about your situation, maybe you should do the same.