The love between a man and woman on their wedding day and the days that follow is infectious. Then life happens, and the honeymoon stage fades and the type of love you have with your husband shifts. But for some reason, this shift is more dramatic for some couples. Some couples fall out of love.
The mere thought of your husband not loving you anymore is devastating, but it happens. What are you supposed to do if it happens to you? Follow these five guidelines to help you and your husband through this difficult time:
Don't base your love for him on how he loves you. Instead, choose to love him unconditionally. It's natural for a woman to feel resentful and angry when she feels unloved. Unfortunately, this negative effect makes you less attractive – something that makes your husband love you even less. Realize, however, that unconditional love does not mean that you accept abuse. If you are still in a healthy marriage, pledge to love your husband without limits. If verbal, emotional or physical abuse is a part of your marriage, do not tolerate it. Leave and seek help.
Men thrive on their ego. For them, it is almost a basic need. When you behave in a disrespectful manner, it makes your mister feel unloved, which could cause him to pull away and stop loving you. As his wife, treat your husband with utmost respect and he'll return the favor. Respect his opinions, his time and his decisions. Respect your partnership and always involve him in all the decisions you have to make – including issues affecting your children, household and future together.
Maybe you've accomplished an amazing goal, which has fostered jealousy and insecurity in the heart of your partner. It then becomes easy for him to belittle you to compensate for his feelings of insecurity. Criticism has replaced loving support, and your man falls out of love. To fight this cycle, talk to your husband about how he's feeling. Help him focus on his own successes. Find ways he can excel in life, and help him regain is confidence. Love in marriage shouldn't be based on who has accomplished more; it depends on a team of two who support and push each other to be better. His achievements should be your achievements, and your wins should be his wins.
Walk down the memory lane and see if you can figure out why your husband fell in love with you in the first place. Write down the personal attributes and virtues that your husband loved when you were dating. Then go through the items one by one. Conduct a strict personal evaluation — do you still have these virtues and values? Maybe he loved a happy you and life has turned you into a sad and bitter person. Of course you have changed since the early days of your marriage, but don't forget who you were — that's the person you husband fell in love with so many years ago.
Nothing compares to a grateful heart. Stop being the kind of person who is too hard to impress. Learn to appreciate even the tiniest things that your husband does – for you and your children. It's normal for him not to meet your expectations every once in a while — no one can be expected to do that. Even if he seems to fall short, that doesn't mean that he isn't trying hard enough. Refocus your heart to be more grateful. Society has made us think that men are strong enough to tolerate anything, which couldn't be more wrong. By being more grateful, your husband will realize how much you love and appreciate him; two emotions that are hard to not reciprocate.
Along with these five points, effective communication is key. Keep communication lines open, at least from your end. Ensure to spend some time with your husband to help to bring back that love. If he fell in love with you first, believe me; that love is not dead. You just have to reawaken it.